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Resilience
I had the opportunity to present on the topic of “Resilience” at a retreat hosted by the St. Monica Catholic Community Health Ministry. A few highlights of my presentation:
- Resilience is our strength in adapting to the demands of life.
- The Christian perspective adds to that definition: We accept and embrace these demands as crosses, which are gifts from our God to transform us, and make us more whole and more holy.
- Thus, the first invitation is to accept (vs. fight) these demands as part of what Sr. Joan Chittister calls a “Spirituality of Struggle.” In her book, Scarred by Struggle, Transformed by Hope, she states, “The great secret of life is how to survive struggle without succumbing to it, how to bear struggle without being defeated by it, how to come out of great struggle better than we found ourselves in the midst of it. A spirituality of struggle exposes the secret to the world.”
- The psychological parallel to this is called Posttraumatic Growth. The field of trauma has exploded in the past few decades (thankfully). Most work has been around understanding the effects and providing treatment to help cope and/or restore stability. More recently, the notion of Posttraumatic Growth has emerged focusing on the positive change that can occur through addressing and working through the trauma.
- The five elements of Posttraumatic Growth as developed by Tedeschi & Calhoun are:
- Personal Strength (inc. resilience)
- New Possibilities
- Improved Relationships
- Spiritual Growth
- Appreciation for Life
- The palm tree is a good metaphor for resilience. Visualize a palm tree in a hurricane. You see a strong core yet with great adaptability.
- Three pathways to building resilience are Connecting with the Core Self, Connecting with Our Burdened Parts, and Connecting with Others.
- Connecting with our core self is connecting with God because the core self is Imago Dei – made in the image and likeness of God. Practices to connect with our core self include breathwork and contemplative prayer (or other mindfulness exercises).
- The Serenity Prayer provides the perfect way to approach our burdens:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
- Acceptance is not the same as resignation. Resignation is focused on past and future, where there can be no change, while acceptance focuses on the present. Acceptance of the struggle invites taking more empowering action to bring about potential change and unburden our wounded parts.
- Connecting with others both personally (friends, social group, church community) and professionally (therapists, mentors, guides) is invaluable in building resilience.
