Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it can save your relationship.

Think about it.  In the early stages of a relationship, sparks fly, hormones rage, and you can’t get enough of the other person.  You’re open and curious, excited to learn more.  And you take it all in.  Your brain is literally obsessed with wanting to take in as much about this amazing person as you possibly can.

Fast forward a bit.  You become invested.  Now there’s more on the line.  And that’s when your little insecurity monsters come out; insecurities that lead you to make assumptions rather than be open.  Assumptions which focus on the flaws of the other to protect you from facing your own fears.  Your communication now derails.  You go one of two equally destructive routes.  “You’re too needy,” you say unveiling your tendency to avoid.  Or, “You’re too distant,” you say displaying your reaction to cling.

The antidote to this downward spiral:  Curiosity.  Be curious about your own reactions – look within yourself to see what little insecurity monster is being awoken.  Try this:  the next time you have a reaction to what someone says or does, refrain from that desire to indict them; rather, channel your inner curiosity and say, “Could you tell me more about that?  I’d like to understand your perspective.”    Then listen.  You might just learn something new about them, and about yourself too.

The new mantra:  Curiosity killed the assumption.  And the cat is grateful.

Come learn how to be curious at my next Start Right, Stay Connected workshop!