compassion (n.) – feeling of sorrow or deep tenderness for one who is suffering or experiencing misfortune. From Latin, “com” + “pati,” “to suffer with.”

      Virtually every spiritual tradition espouses the value of compassion. For Christians, Christ exemplifies the perfect model of compassion. We strive to follow this model when we see someone suffering, knowing how much it meant to have been the recipient of it when we suffered. 

      It sounds well and good, and often is so especially when the pain experienced by someone close to us seems so undeserved. Then we can freely offer our heartfelt compassion.

      It becomes more challenging when that other person’s experience has a direct influence on us.  Imagine the following scenario. Your work team has a deadline for a very important project. Midway through the project and already behind schedule, one of your team members abruptly bails on you. How do you respond? I’ll speak only for myself, but compassion is not the first thing that comes to mind.

      Compassion was, however, the response of someone who faced such a situation just a couple of weeks ago. With their team behind, one of his star teammates removed his jersey, threw it into the stands, and dramatically marched off the field. After the game, here’s how Tom Brady responded (1-minute video):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr3t6nYiUdk

      Tom Brady gave us a remarkable model of compassion. He expressed love and care for his friend and encouraged everyone to have compassion for him. And he did this when he had every right to be upset, point the finger, or blame him for his selfishness. But he chose not to do that. He chose compassion. 

      What also makes this such a great model is that Tom was very clear in expressing his support and care, but that it would not happen with his friend a part of the team. Too often, compassion is misunderstood as being passive, that it calls us to excuse another’s actions. Forgive and forget, without consequence or any effort toward reconciliation necessary. In this case, Tom could have made a plea to allow his friend back on the team. But he chose not to do that. He chose a healthy boundary.

      You can have tremendous compassion and maintain your boundaries. It is what we call integrity. 

      Let us all learn from the GOAT and bring more of this compassion into our relationships and into our world.