I just watched a great TED talk entitled “4 Habits of ALL Successful Relationships” by Dr. Andrea & Jonathan Taylor-Cummings (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4Y5Mr8rZ9A).  Drawing from their research in the UK, they identified these four relationship saving habits:

1. BE CURIOUS, not critical
2. BE CAREFUL, not crushing
3. ASK, don’t assume
4. CONNECT before you correct

As I heard them describe these habits, I thought to myself, “This is exactly what I teach people to do with Imago.”   Whether working in the office with individuals or couples, or leading my “Start Right, Stay Connected” workshops, it is all about developing the tools to build these habits.  You see, the brain is wired to protect you, so all too often you will respond defensively even when you don’t realize it.  But what comes out is critical, crushing, assuming or correcting.

Imago provides the tools.  When you learn how to really listen, you learn to keep those bad habits at bay.  When you mirror back their words, you offer that curiosity.  When you are careful to validate their perspective, you build safety.  When you seek first to understand, your asking communicates respect.  And when you empathize with their feelings, you create connection.

Creating new habits takes practice.  Just like breaking bad habits is challenging, so too is building good ones.   So check out that YouTube video.  And then go here and check out how Imago can help you create great relationships!