Whether you’re single, dating, or married forever, here’s 3 Dos & Don’ts for Valentine’s Day…

Do reflect upon the meaning of the day.  Take time to reflect upon where you experience love in your life and express your gratitude for this love.  Look within at those parts of yourself that you love and those parts that you struggle to love.  Think about the people in your life – past and present – who have shown you love.  And of course, if you’re in a committed partnership, take a little extra time to reflect upon your story.  Recall the special feelings you experienced when you first met and fell in love.

Don’t avoid it and blame Hallmark.  Sure it’s commercialized, but Hallmark didn’t create Valentine’s Day.  It’s actually a feast day, celebrating St. Valentine who gave his life to perform weddings for couples during a period of Christian persecution.  Valentine’s commitment demonstrates the deeper sense of love.  If he could do it, so can you.

Do something to celebrate.  Go out and celebrate.  Find something fun to do.  Express your gratitude.  Love requires action in order to grow and flourish.  Thinking of a gift?  You can go traditional with a card, flowers and candy or go off script with something different.   Feeling stuck?  Google has 324,000,000 results for “Valentine’s Day Activities” and 526,000,000 results for “Valentine’s Day Gift,” just in case you need a few ideas.

Don’t fall victim to the commercialization.  Hallmark didn’t start it, but the free market has sure capitalized on it.  I started taking my wife out the weekend before or after Valentine’s Day.  The last straw was the weekday Valentine’s Day when we went out to a supposedly romantic restaurant which had brought in extra folding tables so we could sit elbow to elbow with our new besties, all the while enjoying the prix fixe menu.  (In case you don’t speak French, that translates to limited selection with jacked up prices).   It’s OK, better yet, it’s desirable to be little creative.

Do go Platinum.  We all know the Golden Rule:  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  The Platinum rule takes it a step further:  Do unto others as they would have done unto them.  What is the other’s love language?  What would really tickle their fancy?  Come up with an answer and then do it.   If the answer feels like a bit of a stretch, all the better.  It will be that much more meaningful – to both of you.

Don’t do it out of obligation.  Gifts received because someone felt obliged to do it can be feel just as hurtful as no gift at all.   Remember the words from Corinthians:  Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 

May you have a cheerful, loving and meaningful Valentine’s Day!