“Take care of your marriage, and your marriage will take care of you!”
Your marriage can be one of the greatest blessings in your life. Despite the messages conveyed by popular culture, the state of marriage is far more positive than what one might think. In The Good News about Marriage, researcher Shaunti Feldhahn asserts that the divorce rate has never reached to often spouted figure of 50% (closer to 30%), and there are a number of factors that contribute to those many more than expected happy marriages. One such factor that can provide hope to couples of faith is that active participation in their religious community does make a significant difference.
Married persons reap an abundance of benefits in marriage. They live longer, and are less likely to get pneumonia, heart attacks or cancer. They show less mental illness and consistently rate higher in levels of happiness. In The Case for Marriage (2000), University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite concluded that “the evidence from four decades of research is surprisingly clear: a good marriage is both men’s and women’s best bet for living a long and healthy life.” Furthermore, these benefits extend to children, helping them to be happier and healthier, do better in school, and have healthier relationships, just to name a few.
These benefits, however, fade away in distressed marriages where the opposite becomes true – higher levels of depression, anxiety, addiction and medical problems, just to name a few. Keeping your marriage strong is one of the most important things you can do in life, and it doesn’t happen by accident.
Consider this. Prior to 1960’s, people went to dentists when they were in pain. That’s when the routine dental check-up was instituted as a preventative measure. The result was that the number of cavities and tooth loss dropped exponentially. The age-old wisdom – an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
If your teeth deserve this attention, why doesn’t your marriage? This is where the Marriage Check-Up comes in. Truth be told, most couples will not need therapy to sustain a happy marriage (not good marketing for a marriage therapist, I know, but I have to be honest). Being intentional to engage in activities to enrich your marriage, however, is very important to help create and maintain that happiness.
A Single Visit is all it takes!
After you contact me and decide to schedule a Marriage Check-Up, I will e-mail a brief questionnaire for each of you to complete – The Marriage Check-Up. This will allow for you the time to reflect upon some of the important ingredients in your marriage and prepare to discuss them with your spouse.
When we meet, I will get to know you and your story. We’ll look at your responses the Marriage Check-Up to springboard our discussion, and I’ll provide you with tools to help strengthen your marriage. To be clear, this is not therapy – it is a strengths-based process designed to nurture the good in your relationship and help you make the minor adjustments to keep it on track. This can be accomplished in one 80 minute meeting (although we can plan to meet additional times if you would like to address additional areas and/or provide additional tools).
Why do we need the Marriage Check-Up?
Consider this. Planes are off course 90% of the time. That’s right, on that last flight you made to Los Angeles, your plane was actually going in the wrong direction 90% of the time. The reason you landed safely at LAX and not O’Hare was the repeated minor corrections being made by the pilot. The wisdom here – you’re going to get off course, however, taking the right action (like the Marriage Check-Up!) will enable you to reach your desired destination of a happy marriage. Neglect this fact, and you’ll be far from that destination and heading further away. “We just grew apart” doesn’t happen by accident – it’s years of neglecting to take care of the marriage that leads to this unfortunate state.
Take care of your marriage, and your marriage will take care of you!
Make the investment in your marriage now! Call (310-268-7792) or e-mail today.